Cross My Heart
by karikos
Summary: Jason tells Courtney about Sam's pregnancy. I wrote my own version of the scene for the 100 Songs challenge on Livejournal. This is for 097. Writer's Choice and the song I used for a prompt was Happy by Saving Jane.


She always knew the day would come when he moved on, but she hadn't expected it to come so soon. Earlier, she'd held a glass of wine in her hand as she stood by the window in the loft, looking onto the streets. Courtney didn't know how long she'd stared, sipping at the red alcohol every few seconds, but finally she'd come out of her daze and decided she needed to get outside and out of her home. It had far too many memories for her right then.

Courtney had found her way to the park and a bench that wasn't occupied. The sun was out, but it wasn't as warm as it usually was at the end of May. She went over the news in her mind, mulling it over; her ex-husband was getting married and expecting a baby. Sure, Carly said that he was only doing it because it was the 'right thing to do' and she was her best friend, but that didn't change the fact that he was going to be a father to another woman's child. He was going to make the same vows to Sam as he had to her just seven months ago. And, despite what Carly said, she figured that Jason must love Sam or he at least cared about her more deeply than Carly thought. Jason didn't seem the type to marry without love, even if he'd gotten the woman pregnant. Well, there was his marriage to Brenda, but Courtney chalked that up to helping Sonny.

Courtney massaged her temples with her fingers, trying to relieve the pressure she felt there. She'd cried quite a bit since Carly had broken the news to her earlier that morning but not in front of her; she knew Carly would have gone to Jason and yelled at him about how he'd broken Courtney's heart and she didn't want that.

She heard someone behind her and then saw the person out of the corners of her eyes. She didn't have to turn to face him to know who it was and she didn't need to ask him why he'd come. She'd known that he would eventually. _Looks like he'll see how upset I am for himself, _she thought as he sat down next to her on the bench. He could always see right through her.

"I went to the loft," Jason told her. He licked his lips tentatively. "You weren't there, so I was going to, you know, come back later. I didn't think I'd find you here."

She nodded silently, almost afraid to speak, just in case the tears came again. "Why were you looking for me?" She knew what he wanted and what he needed to tell her, but he didn't know that.

He licked his lips again, _I wish he wouldn't do that_, and allowed a few seconds to pass before answering her inquiry. "Sam and I..." he started to say, but it seemed that he didn't know how to tell her and let the sentence trail off. She waited for him to finish, but he didn't. The two of them sat in silence for what seemed like forever to her. Courtney nearly chewed through the side of her cheek before he tried again.

"Sam and I...we're going to have a baby." He paused and looked at her face this time, studying it for a reaction. She bit her bottom lip and opened her eyes wide. Hearing it from his lips made it more real to her, not that she needed it to be, because she knew that Jason never lied.

He never lied, but she was about to. He'd be able to tell, she knew, but that wouldn't keep her from saying the words. She needed to say them for herself, and so she wouldn't be seen as bitter. Part of her questioned why she cared what anyone thought, but she silenced it.

Jason felt awkward, she could tell; his eyes shifted as he sat next to her and he fidgeted with his hands. She took a breath before she answered. "Wow, that's...great, Jason."

He looked at her, skepticism not quite hidden in his eyes. "Courtney, you don't have to say that. I know...I know it hurts you and I'm sorry for that." He didn't speak for a moment, trying to find the words to explain how it had happened but realized there were none. "It just...happened. I didn't expect it. Neither of us did."

Jason was being honest with her, but she couldn't do the same. She couldn't tell him that she was hurt by this. A child had been the one thing she'd always wanted with him; when she'd pictured their future together, there was always a baby, one with his eyes. And now, Sam of all people was the one who would be getting everything Courtney had hoped for. It tore her apart and those words would never fall from her lips. She just stared at him and said the only thing she could think of. "Jason, no. I'm happy for you. You deserve this. Don't worry about me, it's fine. It's good you're happy." She stood up quickly and put her purse on her shoulder. "I've got plans to meet Carly at Kelly's and you know how she is. I'll talk to you later."

The words fell out of her mouth and before she knew what her body was doing, she was walking away, leaving him to sit on the bench in the park, alone with no chance to respond.


End file.
